My first entry in my book of shadows
Here we go. My first entry in my book of shadows and I’m not sure what to write.
I had my fourth lesson this evening and Sam said she thought it would help if I kept a journal, but I feel kind of silly. I’ve never been a journal kind of girl. Then again, I’ve never really had anything worth journaling about.
I guess that’s changed. After thirty-three years’ worth of boring days followed by more boring days, I recently found another mutt in Amoskeag Falls and she’s amazing.
The weird thing is that I sort of knew her before, but I never realized she was anything other than what she seemed. Boy, was I wrong.
The one thing that struck me when I eventually got to know Samantha Thomas was how well she’d mastered her Fae nature. I didn’t even know it was possible for people like us.
She has the same piddly amount of Fae DNA as me, but Sam always seems to have magic at her fingertips — and I mean that literally.
I was always told to ignore my magic side and embrace my bear (as if I could ignore her!). To be honest, it wasn’t that hard. I knew I was a little empathic, but it’s not like I had a role model or any idea of what I could do with the amount of magic running through my veins. Then one day Sam shared her truth with me.
In a matter of minutes, she went from being one of Ginny’s human friends to being a mutt like me. A kindred spirit who defied the odds and opened my eyes to the possibilities.
The way she explained it to me, because we’re hybrids, we each have our own unique abilities. That means that even though we both have the same amount of Fae genes, our magic is different.
Unlike Sam, who has small amounts of DNA from multiple species, my DNA is 75% bear shifter and 25% Fae. It’s not a great combination, but it could be worse. At least I have enough bear in me that I can change forms.
The process isn’t pretty, and I take a long time to shift. To be fair, I'm not sure what it's supposed to feel like or how long it should take. I don’t know any other bears to compare myself, but it takes me a lot longer than the wolves. It also hurts like a bitch.
Which brings me back to my current situation. Sam’s been helping me learn how to use my Fae magic.
She seems to think I should be able to use my magic to make my shifts faster and less painful.
If someone had said that to me a six weeks ago I would have said they were crazy, but after everything that happened with Samantha and the showdown with the rogue witch I’m willing to believe almost anything.
Now, I go to Sam’s house twice a week to learn how to work with my innate magic.
It’s been an eyeopener. As part of my training, she told me to keep a journal, kind of like a book of shadows that the witches use, to keep track of what I’m doing, what worked, what didn’t, and if I have any ideas about how to improve my results.
I have to admit that I’m more optimistic than I thought I’d be when she first suggested it. I mean, she taught herself how to combine her small amounts of incompatible Fae and demon magic into something useful. If she thinks writing it down will help me create my own process, I’m willing to try.
Who knows, maybe someday I’ll be able to channel my small amount of Fae magic into something even more useful. Though I’d be satisfied if I could use magic to managing shifting between human and bear.
PS: My mantra for this week is "make your own magic."
